Have you ever looked in the mirror only to find that the person you thought you would see wasn't there? Welcome to my "twilight zone"? The blank mirror has me horrified and haunted, wondering where I have gone and when I am coming back has me feeling mentally fragile and unable to function as I normally would. This non-existent image in the mirror has prompted me to begin searching for Lori, in the hopes that sanity, order, joy and fulfillment will be restored. And that my reflection returns along with my identity.  In this long and painful process I have decided to blog my way back. . As I begin to piece together who I am, what I like, what I don't and how I got to this non-existent place; I am cautiously optimistic, since I have been unable to remember these basic things, what else have I forgotten and how soon before the new me replaces the real Lori and she is gone forever.

As I sit here contemplating how I got to this place in my life, I am truly perplexed. As far back as I can remember I have been trying to evolve and change and grow into the person that I am "supposed" to be. But somewhere along the lines, I took a wrong turn and never corrected and I have become lost.  I am lost in the chaos and clutter of a life overrun with worldly nonsense. Nonsense is a world that tells you that you get your self- esteem from beauty or possessions or power. Nonsense is a life filled with busyness; a busyness that runs over boundaries, sensibility, and ultimately reality. Making in the end its own reality, void of peace and dripping with competitiveness that takes its toll on the strong and weak alike.